Skip to main content

Here we go again



Hi. Here am I again, popping out at random hours. lol.

 My heart is still aching. I'm tired going through my emotional roller-coaster. My meds doesn't seem to be working on me anymore. I bet your ass I'm going to be on new combination of meds. See what I mean the trial and error part when it comes to medication? It's tiring. I feel like I can crash anytime sooner. My body can't take it anymore. I wanted to breakdown so bad but I've been numb. I can't feel anything. I know I'm sad but I can't express it, yet. 

I am always there for people and knew too well how to handle them but me. ME. 

I miss being normal. My definition of normal is: not to have this constant nasty thoughts inside my head and sleep when I should sleep. I still can laugh my ass off and make stupid jokes. don't get me wrong. It's just that, when I'm done and being all by myself again, here we go again. It comes back in. Sounds exhausting? trust me it is. You'd still question every single piece of me, how tf can I handle it. That's why you need to learn more on this certain health issue and have more EMPATHY. It's not easy for me. I'm still frustrated with the comments that I got from some shit heads people. Hence, I became who I am today. I roasted them on the spot. Am I sorry? Not at all. I speak for me and the other sufferers. Don't feel entitled just because you have a normal, healthy functioning brain. Still don't believe me? See this MRI below.

Related image

 kbye world. I'm going to preach by re-posting some things in other post after this.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

10 Ways You Can Be That Shining Light for Those Battling Depression

Here's another post that might help everyone (and my beloved ones 😔 I'm forever wishing they knew/understand how debilitating it is for me) ----------------- If you know someone who’s depressed or is showing similar symptoms, the chances are that their mental condition affects yours as well. Whether it is a friend desperately seeking assignment help to deal with academic pressure or a loved one gradually withdrawing from social gatherings, watch out for the signs that call for action. More than 300 million people worldwide suffer from depression . Studies show that caregivers or close ones can play a huge role in bringing some love and light to the depressed ones. This post explains how you can be that shining beacon of hope for those battling this dark disease. Read on to know what you can do to not let the darkness engulf. Recognize  the signs early on – how to detect depression When you have a loved one affected with depression, helping them sta...
27 comments
Read more

A Hurdle

Yaknow......... my biggest hurdle in my everyday life is fighting the negative thoughts. It's tiring. I can't lie. I internalize everything very easily. Then, when I did, I found myself beating myself up for what I "did". My counsellor and those who understood me told me that it wasn't my fault. I'm living with a condition. But I just can't help it and continued feeling bad for what I "did". The effect of my first severe relapse still haunts me up until today. Tho, it shaped me to be who I am today, there are still parts of the aftermath I still want to fix because it meant so much to me. And because of that, I don't want to give up fighting for both my mental illness and the one that I treasured so much. The ones who understood me and my situation constantly remind me that it's going to be worth a fight and don't give up on it. The whole of it. I hate the fact that the society always assumes (because they don't understand) th...
3 comments
Read more

My kind of cocktails

Hi. It's been a while. This week marks my third week being on a new combination of meds. a.k.a cocktails . I've lost count on how many times I've been through meds changes. lol. This time around...... I'm no longer on sleeping pills but sedatives. My sleeping problem got really worst that they decided to give me sedatives. Tbh, at first, I was overwhelmed by the word "sedatives". Because at the back of my head, sedatives = drugs that they give to psychotic prisoners (too much series, I know. lol). But, it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Miraculously, I finally get to feel how it feels like to have being able to sleep again. It's been a LOOOOOONGGGGGGGGGG time. Some may ask what's the purpose of having this sedatives... well...... it acts as both my mood stabilizer and my sleeping pills. As well as..... my psychosis (I'm harmless. I promise. If you've triggered me, bear it at your own risk. you gotta learn how to UNtrigger m...
Post a Comment
Read more